Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I'm Gonna Try

I don't make New Year's Resolutions. Because I will fail at them.
I don't even give something up for Lent. Because I will fail.
I don't so much like to fail.
And I'm pretty consistently going to fail at anything that involves self-discipline...it's just not a gift I have.
I typically only like to try things that I know I will succeed at doing.
That's pathetic, I know.
I'm just being honest.

However, this year I feel like I do need to set some goals of some sort for myself.

After spending last year being pretty much consumed with how my life was going to change because of a baby, and then spending the last 5 months (in a fog) being pretty much consumed with how much life has changed because of a baby, it would probably be healthy for me to set some expectations of what I would like to accomplish in 2010.

So, I'm going to make a list of things I'm gonna try to do in 2010. I'm not going to be too specific about how I will accomplish these things because that would lead to entirely too much planning, self-discipline & eventual failure.

In 2010, I'm gonna try...

...to be a much better friend. This should not be hard, because I have not been the world's greatest friend in the past year & it will be easy and relatively effortless to do a better job than I have

...to have a life that interesting enough (at least to me) to warrant having this blog. I don't want my life to be completely defined my my role as "momma", so by challenging myself to write on this blog, I am challenging myself to do and think and write about interesting non-baby things.

...to allow God to enter & shape my heart in a much more intense, real way than I did in the last year. I need to converse with God more this year...talking, listening & reading scripture.

...to begin spending more time in vocational discernment. I don't think that process will be complete by this time next year, but my heart is much more open & ready to start reconsidering my calling to ministry & what that might look like.

...to read more. This is pretty much a constant goal for me & one that I love. I want to read more...memoirs, fiction, theology, whatever. I want to read things that will challenge me, educate me, make me laugh and broaden my world view.

...to be a great wife & mother. I don't want to take either of these roles lightly. I am madly in love with my husband & want to continue honoring him through tending to our marriage in real ways. I want to utilize my time at home with Berkley to begin teaching and shaping him & being the type of mom I believe God wants me to be.

Okay- that's probably enough for now. I'm sure there are many more things I'm gonna try to do. But I feel confident that these will be a good starting point.
As I look back over them, I realize that they are almost all processes or journeys.
I like that.
They aren't things I'll just accomplish one day & be done with them, but things I will need to grow and nurture and maintain over the year.

Oh- and I would like to lose some of the baby weight! But, let's be honest, that's more like a resolution, so I'll probably fail!

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